Another awful, miserably wet, rainy weekend here in Houston.  It makes me think about that fateful night that Jamie never made it home.

Yet three weeks later, life goes on, as it should.  For we have all learned from this tragedy.  Antz is soldiering on, and determined that he will continue with his life goals.  Still it's difficult for him to come to terms with the fact that Jamie didn't get a second chance at life, in one split-second, a simple error cost her her life.   He questions... why, when she had turned her life around, her life is snuffed out and other worthless p.o.s. are still living?   All I can do is pray that he will move past his grief and come to accept that these things are outside of anyone's control.  Jamie believed in God, so knowing that, at least gives me some peace.  She is in a better place.

Anthony says he has no guarantee there is anything after you die, so he is going to live every moment he has in this world.  He was looking for a sign from God.  He asked me "Has God ever spoken to you?", I responded with "Not directly, but I do believe he's there watching over us and I have faith they whatever happens things will turn around in the end."  Sometimes it doesn't happen on our timing (when we want it).  Hard for a young person to fathom, when they want answers immediately.   I don't know if he has received the sign from God he has been looking for, but he has been a lot calmer and focused on his university studies.  Now that amazes me.   I lost all focus when my mum died, looking back time just became a blur.   Not sure how I managed to pull out the As for that semester.  I think my Professors were very generous in allowing me extra time until I was ready to take my Semester Finals.

Anyways, for me personally, since Jamie's passing I feel inspired to appreciate life more and enjoy it more.  For too long it's all been WORRY, WORK, STUDY, TRAVEL (back n forth to Austin).  Sometimes I didn't remember where anything was, always in a state of moving or working or studying and little time for anything else.     Definitely, these past few weeks has allowed me to re-examine how I have been living my life and I came to the conclusion that I needed to drasticly change things: reinject more fun and laughter (not so serious), less pressure on myself and more love and appreciation. 

With that in mind, last weekend was great as I spent Saturday with Maria and her little twins who she now has custody (they are her grandbabies).  It was so delightful to see them playing together.  I'm so happy for Maria - having the girls in her life - they are positive reminders of life continuing after their father passed away.