What's the worst type of illness?   This SWINE H1H1 flu is running rampant throughout Texas.  So many of my friends and family have been ill with it.   Anthony and Jenny both got Swine Flu - trying to take midterms with a fever of 102.5 can't be easy to do.  It's outright dangerous - you'd think there would be exceptions made when there is a pandemic flu.  As for me, I escaped with just the seasonal flu - probably made more susceptible running myself down not sleeping when Raegan was born.   But I would repeat it all over again!

To me the worst form of illness is not of the body but it's of the soul (the human spirit).  When someone suffers from an assault on their soul; it will destroy the whole person.  It leads to an array of unpleasant outcomes - physical; psychological; emotional.

In my lifetime, when I reflect on the many experiences of illnesses - I still vividly remember being 4 years old and having excruciating ear pain.  My mother used an onion and bread compress/poultice to draw out the infection.  It hurt like hell, but it worked!!!    Having double mumps (in both sides of the neck/ear region) also stands out as a worst experience.   Kids today are immunised from that, thank goodness.   As far as injuring myself; the three worst was when Charles broke two tendons in my left forearm trying to throw me down the stairs.  The pain lasted for many months.   I still am weak in my main arm now and can't grip well.   Slipping my 5th vertebrae out lifting out a 50lb rabbit food for my mum from the trunk of my car - that laid me flat on my back for six weeks and Julia came to help me look after the boys in Korokoro.  The third one was so silly, I was rollerskating; came off the rink onto the carpeted area and awkwardly landed my right ankle down heavily - that took months to stop hurting too and thickened my ankle an extra inch which is still noticeable to me.

Pretty fortunate really on my body accidents and disease.  Had a scare in 2001 with cervical cancer; but was fortunate that everything turned out to be okay.   It did prompt me to reevaluate how I was living at the time.   I resolved to do better at taking care of my body.    But by 2005 I was right back to where I was in 2001...not exercising and only sometimes eating right.   It led to a weight gain of 25lbs which is really hard to remove now.

So At the beginning of October, I began really working towards a goal to lose those 25lbs for good.   Have been exercising at the free gym at least 3-5 times a week for 30mins-1 hr.  I can now do 4 minute miles on the recumbent bike; 70lbs inner/outer thigh repetitions; 130lb Leg prlbs; 40lb Shoulder press; 70lbs back press.   Cut my daily calorie intake to 1500-1800.   Mostly keeping to the 1500 on days I don't exercise.  

While I haven't shift those pounds yet; I know I am toning up well - my legs and back and shoulders are stronger.   I am beginning to lose inches off my waist (yay).   As my body always builds muscle first, it's not suprising that I haven't any weight loss...but I'm gonna keep persevering.

It's fantastic that Bob has got on board with me and we go to exercise at the gym a few times a week together.   He has really cut down his portions.  I'm so proud of his efforts.   He just needs to take it easy on his poor body which has had a much rougher time with 18 wheeler ploughing into his work vehicle.  His football injuries etc left his knees very weak.

But it is the psychological stress which wears a person's spirit down.   The longer I am without a job; the more I question whether I should continue with classroom teaching.  I never want to experience what I was subjected to last year.  It was intolerable and too much for me to bear.   I've seen the resulting impact on my body with my hormones being out of balance; my menstrual cycle; lack of energy and feeling low.  Being taken advantage of, when I am so giving to others really has knoced my spirits.   But this past Thursday night I had an epiphany when the students came marching through my door to hold an organizing meeting for a Halloween Party.

Now I'm excited about hosting it here in our home.   It engenders and rekindles all those great feelings I've always felt when I've worked closely with the youth.

There is no way I cannot work with them in some capacity.